A group of Emo kids grew up to become doctors who eventually started to experience a mid-life crisis. Together, they started a band called My Cardiological Romance.

As expected, they sang from and about the heart.

Being disorganized saves you time when it may not matter, but loses you time when it matters most.

I swear I’m not trans-phobic, but I keep bumping flat into parents that are transgender. Almost knock them right over. It’s like they’re trans-parent or something.

What are the odds you’ll find a one in one-hundred?
100%

How do you know when two and three don’t follow Fibonacci? When two and three is “four” five.

Why is three jealous of two?
Because two “one” over zero.

The core nature of reality is like a song. Religions and their teachings are simply remixes of that song. Anyone can hear the original. All they need to do is listen.

Most desires are fulfilled by paradoxical pursuit. Such as slowing down instead of speeding toward them.

Some of the best comforts are those that take bravery to pursue.

Sometimes creativity is as simple as seeing the beauty in your mistakes.

What do you call a Pepsi driver that hates his job?

A soda masochist.

What to you call a Unix system administrator that hates their job?

A sudo masochist

The Chinese surveillance behemoth knows all and sees all, but can it see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

In design, less is more — and ‘more’ is novel if designed well.
It seems to me the world has become a bit too novel.

What is it called when a viking swears and curses a lot?

Norse language.

What do you call a landscaper with a viking fetish?

A Leifblower