Month: October 2019

Poison Snow

When I was a baby, the summer filled with snow
Upon closer look, the truth you would know

Instead of a snow bank, you’d see a

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Vacations

Vacations are terrifying
On planes, all I think about is dying

When I take the train
All I fear is pain

When I’m in the car
I imagine my

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Fuck You, Ryan

I would still buy the worst advice
Frome extremely stupid and very small mice

They sit on their throne and speak with authority
They dish out their

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Sleep Sobriety

I am attempting to get unfurled
Addicted to the conscious world

My brain begs for sleep
I don’t count, I murder sheep

The next day I ask why
The

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Seth Godin

I once heard a man
When he spoke, my world shattered
He said about my plan
That I do work that mattered

He said another thing
Something I could

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Financial Woes

My biggest stress
Is when my money is less
It puts me under duress
But, on I press

My biggest fear
Is always near
I’ll shed a tear
When there’s no

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A Better Man

I once had a rock
Given from a girl that liked me
She gave it as a keepsake
An object for our memory

I was afraid of the

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Deprived

One night
Went to work
One sight
The lights lurk

Without thinking
Took my pill
Heart sinking
Why I’m ill

Cab home
Psychadelic lights
Secret tome
Mental mights

Home asleep
The lights fade
Another sheep
An unfortunate trade

One day
Lights

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AGHKGH! F@&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

[mailpoet_form id="1"]

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!