A Joke Too [Oddly Specific] To Be Funny #32
March 3, 2023
What do you call a lineup of creditors at a bankrupt energy company? A powerline.
Looking for the schizophrenia posts that were originally at this link? Click ‘Schizophrenia‘ above in the sub-navigation!
What do you call a lineup of creditors at a bankrupt energy company? A powerline.
What do you call a mechanic’s shop that doesn’t gouge you on car repair? An autobody mirage.
What do you call a member of a boy band in cardiac arrest? A true heart-throb.
What do you call a carriage being pulled by a dead horse? A hearse-drawn carriage.
I’ve got a few too many screws that are loose
Too scared to live, too scared of the noose
They say I’m silly, just like a
Grew myself in a bubble
Yet never get in trouble
Once before, the bubble popped
Once again, it won’t be stopped
From my words, so duplicitous
From your ears,
What do you call candy when you’re on a tram? Trolly pop
Peter Piper picked a pickled pepper
from Pastor Perry’s poverty provisions
the town prospered, yet lacked proper vision
leaving Peter in his precarity, resorting reliance on the
Some of these words are true
Some of them are a lie
Is the truth in my intent?
Or in your mind’s eye?
I mean not to be
They say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”…what if you were a foreigner in Rome and everyone around you is a foreigner
Computers & the internet converged to save time for everyone. Social media cancelled out those savings.
Oversimplify
De-contextualize
Obfuscate
See only with your eyes
Blind them to nuance
Text is not made by humans
Get high on self-righteousness
Believe you are sober
Let your tongue be pulled by
Don’t bother sweating the inevitable unless you enjoy the perspiration.
What do you call glowing lights in the December sky that are not stars? Christmas flights
What do you call a Yuletide biblical parable of confectionary betrayal? Candy cane and maple
Why is Santa Claus jealous of the Christmas tree? He couldn’t hold a candle to it
If we’re all pursuing “financial freedom” does that mean we are enslaved by financiers?
If you are a perfectionist, pursue the imperfect.If you are a confectionist, pursue the savory.If you are a ventroliquist, pursue the unstrung.If you are
What do you call Israeli prison convicts hugging each other after a daring escape? Fresh Squeezed Orange Jews
If you are like me and love nerding out about self-care, artistic expression, technology, and trying your best to balance your rampant cynicism with an equal measure of rampant silliness, I think you’ll vibe with what I do here.
I will only send updates that I am completely convinced will be valuable to you. I respect your time by respecting my time. I don’t send frivolous bullshit.
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Wow, Ian, your posts are mostly shit.
LOL. Yup. They are. If you don't want to scroll through endless.. shitposts, well...
You can scroll to the top and click on a category that's more appealing to you. Most of my other content is in the Poetry and Schizophrenia categories
Ugh... I don't want to have to scroll ALL the way up. My fingers hurt from scrolling your shit already!
Wow, thanks Ian. You're my hero!
I know you're not actually saying that, and this is just a silly piece of the website that is shoving those words in your mouth, but you're welcome.
Speaking of shoving things into other things, why not let me shove emails into your inbox by signing up to my newsletter where I send updates about my non-shitty content?
📓 💻 🎮
Welcome to my little corner of the internet. 😊 ❤️
This website is mostly an archive. For all new works by me, please visit psychoSage.
Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?
Why do you do this to me, Ian...
Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!
Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.
'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?
Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!
...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.
Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!