Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
Oh thank god My name isn't Todd It would be rather odd With my flashy sex bod 'Cause a guy named Todd Is a mopey sad sod Another boring cod With a tiny little rod Oh thank god I can make fun of Todd I'm protected in my pod And honestly, words that rhyme with Todd are not very flattering
You know what really grinds my gears? When you equate my delusions to your fears “I sometimes get that,” they say When I get it ten times a day But it doesn’t stop, no, not there Because there’s 90 other ways my day is your worst nightmare She complains when I’m being distant But I’m not far away, I’m not existent When you’re getting your house and kids and doctorate I’ve just figured out how to be physically literate And when your sprouts turn to hopeful teenagers I’m lucky to have sorted out all my angers All these woke people proclaim in public they’re here when it gets tough So I say hello in DMs, but man their schedule is rough But hey that’s cool You got your public virtue And the people who talk Repeat their peers Giving me advice that I’ve practiced for over 10 years Be frugal Be mindful Eat all the right food Be honest Be active Try kundalini in the nude But if god is psychosis Than I am your priest So why am I starving While all of you feast? I am gifted with A Beautiful Mind Conquered my illness, but cannot find The comfort they said was possibility Under a system that says I am free But systems are a machine Precise and clean One size fits all But ignores the separate, the original I have the gift But refuse to grift So for answers I wait While I try to innovate Some kind of size that will fit On an Earth built on bullshit Our world is broken, we agree Yet keep teaching thousands years aged philosophy So to this, I decree From disability I am free Because my disease is but simply An affliction of poverty
I’ve got rhythm
I’ve got class
I’ve got glamour falling out my ass
I piss out sunshine
And curse my melodies
To all my fans, I give the finest herpes
Murder murder murder
Kill kill kill
I am your systemic shill shill shill
Buy my album
Buy my shirt
Buy my bathwater where I squirt squirt squirt
My civilization, sealed, with a platonic crest
Ruled by boys affixed to lactating breast
We've cast out our halves and all our emotion
Wait, what's causing all of this commotion?
The end is nigh, they say
Surely, their minds are astray
The end is nigh, they say
Yet we live it every day
Look to any shore
Somewhere is War
Another place is a river, full of swimming salmon
Within its horizon, there is also Famine
And in that same short distance
You will find Pestilence
And with opinions in our breath
We exhale our Death
It is the apocalypse that we fear
And it did not start this year
We feared this will be our fate
{DateTime.now} is today's date
It is the apocalypse that we fear
Lo, for millennia, it was always hereI'm synonymous with anonymous The metropolis like acropolis My confidence is anomalous Consciousness a choked esophagus Their sight a false prominence An oculus of 'omnipotence' Peering my precarious propolis Caring with cursed cognizance I wipe away their wicked ways Gauze the gashes grooved by their gaze Heaving hurls from a harrowing haze Burrowing backwards from bedrock to a blaze A quantum leap from slothfulness To shatter my sarcophagus To join the exodus From the necropolis Shedding wantonness with expedience A somnolence to predominance To homologous providence This is my apophasis far from spotlessness
Pull my teeth out and I will use my claws Pull my claws and I will bludgeon with my paws Starve me and I will use my bones Break my bones and I will use my mind Break my mind and I will rest in victory Because you should have just killed me in the first place! *looks around* AHHHH!! GAY PEOPLE!!! *runs away*
The stone is unconcerned with its mortality Does not contemplate frailty The stone only harms when disturbed To some that thought is absurd The stone obeys the waters And disregards the others The stone will see it all Before we rise, after we fall
When we exalt the dead We forget all their dread A human that we laughed, cried and failed with Soon becomes legend and myth They reached higher than anyone before To bring us to heights higher evermore We sing their name in praise And make impossible, all their ways A person full of heart, goodness, and sin To a person of stature, we could never win And as we revere and anoint We missed the whole point That such reverence and glory Can be attained in our own story Whether as duty, as needed, or for recognition Great deeds are possible within all our cognition We sing the praise of those that past Not for their honour, but for possibility vast Singing the name of a being we cannot attain Is the continued story of humanity’s pain And with their doubts, these legends did not wane And our mythologizing their name is driving them insane
Who is Earl, and why is he grey? And why does he turn London into a foggy day? Why does he roll with that islander lot? Why does he smell of bergamot? Who is Jasmine, and why is she green? Does she blossom just to make a scene? Is she from Okinawa or Fujian? Is she mortal, or a goddess of heaven? Who is Pepper and where does she mint? Was she a goldsmith banker for a short stint? Why does she now grow leaves that are cold as ice? And why do they taste so very nice? By all these words you must think I mean That all these leaves are what make me serene But to you, I must come clean I always tend to favor my tropical queen Her throne at risk by this warming Earth, we glean I don't know how long she'll keep filling me with dopamine But for now, she's here, giving me a sunny sheen Of course, I am talking about the little brown coffee bean
Picking, scratching, endless thinking Scrolling, tapping, endless sinking Climbing, clawing, relentless longing Comparing, staring, pointless glaring Scrambunctious craggledrops Sinking down their popscops Drinking up their whifflemops Spitting on the glory of Dorgumtops What gives them the right? To live with all their might? They live better than you That is your plight Not our machines and guns And poisoned food giving you runs Not our silver tongues giving you the impression That you are not tools for our oppression Scrambunctious craggledrops We'll beat them down with laws and cops Their whimsical ways will stop All hail the mighty Dorgumtops Picking, scratching, endless thinking Scrolling, tapping, endless sinking Climbing, clawing, relentless longing Comparing, staring, pointless glaring
ey I'm coming up with all these stupid silly rhymes ey Yeah, I'm doing it pretty much all the damn time ey But all these rappers rap like they're from mars ey (laughing) While I struggle to keep up with these simple bars ey All these performers accuse appropriations ey But I'm not an inventor with my creations ey And you know, science is what finds all of our truths ey Engineers use discovery to sell to youths ey We get modern comforts like electricity ey Or social media razing society ey Hold up, that is 'raze' with a z and not an s ey English is so damn confusing, I must confess ey That's probably partly why we are in this mess ey
Do you normally dislike poetry? Me too! It turns out I like writing it, but I cringe at the thought of the stereotypical puffy culture surrounding it. If I want to smell my own farts all day, I stuff my belly with garlic and onions, thank you very much.
Anyway, if you want more poetry without all the stuffy pseudo-intellectual silliness attached, subscribe to my newsletter below. Unsubscribe at anytime. I respect your time by respecting mine. I don’t send frivolous bullshit.
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This website is mostly an archive. For all new works by me, please visit psychoSage.
Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?
Why do you do this to me, Ian...
Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!
Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.
'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?
Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!
...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.
Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!