Chest Intellectual Puffing by Ian Rand McKenzie

That Same ‘Ol Card

Two wrongs don't make a right
'Cause the devil's prongs don't give you might
When it's a man you pick a fight
You lose two eyes that give you sight
But,
Pay no mind to this looney bard
'Cause forgiving that man is too damn hard
So you'll play that same 'ol card
'Cause forgiving that man is too damn hard
Besides,
The big 'ol sheriff is back in town
With his guns and cellar that'll make you frown
Now the man wears the mayor's crown
And all you wanna do is just bring him down
But...
Two wrongs don't make a right
'Cause the devil's prongs don't give you might
When it's a man you pick a fight
You lose two eyes that give you sight
But,
Pay no mind to this looney bard
'Cause forgiving that man is too damn hard
So you'll play that same 'ol card
'Cause forgiving that man is too damn hard

Guild of Grime

People like us do things like this
I’ve got a product that you don’t wanna miss
For a small price you can buy happiness
‘Til it bleeds to the ocean with your garbage and piss
Worry not, friend, there’s so much in store
Buy another one, buy another more
When you get bored, you can buy a pack of four
When you’ve lost all shame, you can buy a slave whore
When you’re all out of money, you can pay with your time
Sell your soul to me, and commit a simple crime
Commit ten more, regard yourself as slime
Become just like me, join the Guild of Grime
Love was in your heart, dollar on your mind
With nowhere to start, words made you blind
You went outside, it’s the dollar that you’d find
If you stayed inside, there was something far more kind
But it’s not too late, just sit down and see
No amount of dollars can set you free
I make no qualms, cash can bring ecstasy
But mind your purchased chains, your own slavery

Disappearing Sidewalks

Take a walk on the street
On your lowly peasant feet
Walk 10 miles more
To find what's in store
When the houses get big and the sidewalks disappear
Veiled are castles built on blood and fear
I have no solutions, other than vengeance and death
Brainwashed to revere Macbeth
Forget forgiveness, easy as one breath
My wrought wrath grind their castles with gore
And build my castle with their blood bore
For peasants to walk one cycle more

Never Someday

Make our muscles bolder as we keep pushin’ boulders
We will never die
Pop my shoulder like we’re never gettin’ older
We will never die
The world’s gettin’ colder so we start pushin’ folders
We will never die
Our angers flame from smoulder, as our eyes reveal the leash holder
We will never die
We want to bite so they pit us into an in-fight
We will never die
We made our own blight ‘cause we lost the sight
We will someday die

Pristine Snow

My cynical thoughts are cyclical
My whimsical ideas heal physical
My clinical self-care arrive in a trickle
My tangible thoughts to words, fickle
So what do I do to communicate this to you?
Sit here raging mind to ruminate a word true?
I bring a white flag; betray fate, bring a crew
Stomp me in the dirt to let my hate brew
It worked for others, so why not again
You could have healed with me as a friend
We howl in fear of our shadow until the end
But our fate was set beyond comprehend
Life is novel, they all agree
They will not let us burn this tree
We failed our claims of minds free
Bee-like benevolence bestows brutes' brains
They stained our legacy, but we will never know
Centuries from now, with return of pristine snow
Our ancestors decry our coveting golden glow
Yet forgiveness in heart, a trait we never did show.

Pandering to Pompous Poets

God is real & we are not in its image
So, today I will reveal its true visage.
It is the sun in the sky
& the sewage running below our feet.
It is love for another...
& the cannibal's butchered meat.
They say,
"Not all who wander are lost."
I say,
"Whether it be at the summit of a mountain,
or death at the hand of Robert Frost."

The Unseen Star

The unseen star
The unseen star
It is not here
It is where you are
The unseen star
The unseen star
It is nowhere near
It is nowhere far
The unseen star
The unseen star
Seen in peripheral sight
Direct visual is subpar
The unseen star
Revealed itself to me
Its light arrived by week three
Soon we shall all see
The unseen star
The unseen star

Darwinist Elementals

Blessings to the nether
And the light we dearly miss
Blessings to Solaris
Blessings to the waters
Long since did they pass
Blessings to Aquitas 
Blessings to the magma
Powerful in its stillness
Blessings to Volcanis 
Blessings to the gods
And the innovation they bring
Our deeds the ages will sing
Blessings to engineer,
biologist, and sage
Blessings to the 4th age!

This poem was inspired by the fictional lore created by a Minecraft group of people I played with from 2011 to 2015 (and still keep in touch with today). We all met on Hardcore Darwinism (an anarchy Minecraft server) and have been friends ever since.

Everest Ascends

Your eyes are as dark as the night's sky
And like the night's sky, I gaze in wonder
As I slip into madness
Struggling to comprehend what lies beyond the darkness
Everest ascends
The unseen star watches over us
Only seen by our periphery
Dozing off into submission
The light blinds our darkness
Everest ascends
Like shovelling snow
All fear being set aside
Yet my anger persists
Because fear was only a symptom of desire
Everest pierces the heavens yet again

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Thoughts and prayers with no remorse
Improv theatre, par for the course
Things are bad and that’s just fine
Empty gestures for the bottom line
Our factories choke your lungs and ooze out slimes
We are here for you in these unprecedented times
We stand with the victims from the evil and maligned
Now that our portfolio has been masked from how we were aligned
We are fixing the symptoms for all that causes woe
Perpetuating a system that we will never show
For we are the architects of all your suffering
Reprieve now available for our profiting!