I have a distant memory Of a tall woman, so shimmery Three times my size My head up to her thighs She wore a thin layer Of blush and eyeliner Off to a party With laughs so hearty I paid little attention Of the things she mention Her heart was soaring What do I care? Adults are boring!
There is a great shame In this contemporary culture Forgetting the origin of our name This self-inflicted torture Of course, value the insights of today But, let us not stray From the wisdom of old The tales that were told Our minds are new With their technology penchant Remember what's true: Our bodies are ancient
I'm as awkward as... A hog-tied snake A dirt farm rake A milkless shake A fishless lake A red tide clam bake A red state gay wedding cake Arbitrary rhymes, for goodness sake!
Almost every day I am celebrateful Of almost every way That I am grateful Sometimes it is miniscule Others, it is great Sometimes it is obscure Others, painfully forward and straight It makes no difference The point is the act To shed my indifference And acknolowedge the fact... ...that it's easy to be grateful That your future will be fateful... ...of experiencing joy Of feeling belonging Recognizing others' time is not your toy To be here now, instead of yearnful longing
Everyone I know Is a sagely mentor Teaching what to bolster And what to temper Some of my mentors Are cautionary tales Are wind in my sails Lift me from my fails I have pure love and affection To those I've paid attention Numerous they may be At least a thousand, maybe three If you are one You are my sun Lighting my path Culling my wrath A kind and gentle lull Warming and guiding my soul
Everyone is mocking My trusty Christmas stocking With its big buttons And size for a glutton Everyone stares in shock At my big 'ol Christmas sock Yet it does have a small fandom For its quirks are not random Turns out, some poeple love My silly Christmas foot glove From when its design was first drafted In turn, love is how it was crafted
If my house was ablaze I would navigate the maze To get all my stuff My electronics, collectibles, and fluff You know what I wouldn't mind? If I left my wife behind Because, WIFE BAD! That's my humor You call it mean, I call it 'boomer'
If I were a book I'd have a peculiar look So heavy, the shelf would rattle With a tightly stitched saddle It would be a collection Of the odd recollection Of slapstick humor And existential horror It would be a mindbending ride And an eventual slide To simultaneous awakening and madness And escape from sadness
It is always a pleasure To care for the house To keep things tidy To keep out the mouse It wasn't always easy Doing my part But all that changed When I filled my heart With purpose, with adrenaline, with love Tidying a house, I am never above With patience, with kindness, and giving A tidy house is simple with a meaningful living
The most important lessons Always take too long Like your favorite part Of that catchy song You're never patient enough For those words you heard today To go from your ears To your mind's inner fray Be patient and truly listen You may eventually find An abundance of wisdom In the present mind
Do you normally dislike poetry? Me too! It turns out I like writing it, but I cringe at the thought of the stereotypical puffy culture surrounding it. If I want to smell my own farts all day, I stuff my belly with garlic and onions, thank you very much.
Anyway, if you want more poetry without all the stuffy pseudo-intellectual silliness attached, subscribe to my newsletter below. Unsubscribe at anytime. I respect your time by respecting mine. I don’t send frivolous bullshit.
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This website is mostly an archive. For all new works by me, please visit psychoSage.
Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?
Why do you do this to me, Ian...
Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!
Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.
'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?
Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!
...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.
Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!