Author: Ian McKenzie

Erase

Erasing memories
Is the same as a lie
Ignoring territories
Of your mind’s eye

Drink a potion
Forget your fate
Stirring commotion
Igniting hate

Digest all that is false
Start another fight
Or still

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Spending

Some people spend all their energy
On workflows and good synergy
Some people focus all their will
To hone themselves and chill

Some people sap all their energy
On

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A Lovely Lass

I once met a lovely lass
Though, she was rather crass
She loved to slap my ass
And give other men a pass
She had rather bad gas
But,

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My Bag

I always have in my bag
A lighter for lighting a fag

I always have in my sack
A calorie-heavy snack

And every day I pack
An axe for

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Forgotten Lunch

I always forget my lunch
I never get the hunch

No thought in my mind
That I left it behind

Not even a clue
As if I never knew…

…that

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The Mark of Cain

My skin without marks
So very plain
But there is a hidden one
The Mark of Cain

I speak of altruism, justice and love
I am a civil man
I

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Truth

I am truly proud
Of lifting my shroud

Of telling lies to others
Of telling lies to myself

Of the people I lift
Through honesty’s gift

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Poison Snow

When I was a baby, the summer filled with snow
Upon closer look, the truth you would know

Instead of a snow bank, you’d see a

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Vacations

Vacations are terrifying
On planes, all I think about is dying

When I take the train
All I fear is pain

When I’m in the car
I imagine my

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AGHKGH! F@&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

[mailpoet_form id="1"]

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!